Why Does Unforgiveness Carry Such a Severe Penalty?

QUESTION:

ANSWER:

Unforgiveness carries a severe punishment because it reveals a heart that has not truly received God’s love, and without forgiving others, we cannot honestly claim to love God or expect His forgiveness.

This question has weighed heavily on my heart: Why would the God of mercy draw such a hard line on unforgiveness—something so personal, so painful, and often so human?

“If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:15)

At first glance, this feels harsh. But the truth behind it is not rooted in legalism—it’s rooted in love. To understand why unforgiveness carries such a severe punishment, we must revisit what Jesus identified as the two greatest commandments and how forgiveness is central to obeying them.

1. The Greatest Commandments: Love God and Love Others

When asked about the most important commandment, Jesus answered clearly:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength… and the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30–31)

These two are inseparable. The commandments teach us to love vertically (toward God) and horizontally (toward people). Together, they form the backbone of biblical living.

A. What It Means to Love God

We often equate loving God with prayer, worship, giving, and service. These are all good. But Jesus made it clear that love for God is not merely measured by outward devotion. He rebuked those who honored Him with their lips but kept their hearts far from Him:

“These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.” (Matthew 15:8)

Real love for God shows not in religious activity—but in how we treat others. Loving God is not just internal affection—it must bear the fruit of outward action.

2. Love for Neighbor: The Visible Proof of Loving God

The Apostle Paul said something astonishing:

“For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Galatians 5:14)

He wasn’t minimizing the command to love God; he was explaining how it’s fulfilled. You can’t love God whom you cannot see if you don’t love your brother whom you can see:

“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar… he who loves God must love his brother also.” (1 John 4:20–21)

Loving Our Neighbor Includes Forgiving Them

The clearest demonstration of love for neighbor is forgiveness. To love someone is to forgive them—not because they earned it, but because we have been forgiven first. This is love in action.

3. The New Commandment: Love As Jesus Loved

Jesus gave His disciples a new standard of love:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you… By this all will know that you are My disciples.” (John 13:34–35)

He didn’t just tell us to love—He modeled what that love looks like: laying down His life for us, even while we were sinners.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

That’s not sentimental love. That’s sacrificial love—the kind that forgives.

4. Forgiveness: The Manifestation of True Love

Here’s the key connection:

Love is the root; forgiveness is the fruit.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

God forgave us because He loved us. And if we say we love Him, we must do the same:

“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

When we forgive, we are walking in the very love that saved us.

5. Why the Severe Punishment for Unforgiveness?

Now we return to the main question: Why would God refuse to forgive those who won’t forgive others?

The answer is simple yet soul-searching:

Because unforgiveness reveals a heart that has not truly received or understood the love of God.

Jesus illustrates this clearly in Matthew 5:

“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there… First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24)

God says: Don’t pretend to love Me while refusing to love others.
Don’t worship Me while harboring bitterness.
Don’t ask Me for forgiveness while withholding it from your neighbor.

If forgiveness is the expression of true love, then unforgiveness is the rejection of it. And if love fulfills the law, then unforgiveness breaks it entirely.

6. The Eternal Implication: You Will Not Be Forgiven

Jesus’ words in the Lord’s Prayer are sobering:

“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12)

Then He adds this explicit warning:

“If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:15)

God is not being vengeful here. He’s being consistent. You cannot accept forgiveness while refusing to give it. You cannot receive mercy and then deny it to others. That’s not love. That’s hypocrisy. Or worse, you have not truly experienced God’s love and forgiveness because you might have not been fully repented.

7. Forgiveness Is How You Love God Back

God doesn’t want empty rituals—He wants relational obedience.

“Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

To forgive is to reflect the heart of God. To forgive is to imitate Christ. To forgive is to prove that you truly love God. And that’s why unforgiveness is so serious:

It violates the greatest commandment.
It disqualifies our worship.
It proves we have not been transformed by divine love.

8. Final Reflection and Invitation

Friend, if you are harboring unforgiveness in your heart, hear this clearly:

God is not interested in lip service. He is after your heart.

He has already forgiven you more than anyone could ever owe you. So don’t let bitterness separate you from His grace.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14)

That love includes forgiveness.

If you truly desire to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength—start by forgiving the one who hurt you. You may not feel like it, but remember: forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a decision. A choice to love as Christ loved you.

And if you have never experienced this kind of forgiveness, you can receive it today—by returning to God.

Click here: “How Can I Be Forgiven of my Sins?”

QUESTION: