How to Pray?

QUESTION:

HOW TO PRAY?

ANSWER:

Prayer is not a ritual or a memorized set of words—it’s a heartfelt conversation with God that can only be learned by doing it. You don’t need the right setting or fancy words; you just need to open your heart.

Prayer is something that can only be learned by doing it. There is no step 1, step 2, nor any set of physical observances or procedures to follow. You just need to open your heart. Prayer is not a formula or a performance—it is a genuine, heartfelt conversation with our Heavenly Father.

Just as our communication with our earthly parents grows deeper the more we know and trust them, our communion with God flourishes as we draw closer to Him. You don’t need perfect words or a special place. You simply need a willing heart and a desire to connect with God.

While there is no strict method to follow, the Bible gives us timeless principles and insights. And more importantly, the Lord Jesus Himself taught us about the heart of prayer—how to approach it, what to avoid, and what truly matters. Let’s explore these teachings so we can better understand how to pray—not in theory, but in truth and spirit.

1. Understanding the Essence of Prayer

At its core, prayer is about building a relationship with God. It’s not merely about presenting our requests but about aligning our hearts with His will. Jesus emphasized the importance of sincerity in prayer:

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” (Matthew 6:6)

While this verse mentions entering your room and shutting the door, the “secret place” Jesus refers to is not limited to a physical space—it is your heart. Prayer happens when your heart turns toward God, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Whether you’re walking, working, or lying awake at night, you can commune with Him because He is always near.

What matters most in prayer is not your posture or location but the focus of your heart. God looks beyond words and appearances—He listens to the soul that genuinely seeks Him.

 

2. The Model Prayer: The Lord’s Prayer

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He provided a model that encompasses praise, submission, petition, and confession:

“In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” (Matthew 6:9-13)

This prayer serves as a template, guiding us to honor God, seek His will, depend on Him for our needs, and seek His guidance and protection.

 

3. The Heart’s Posture in Prayer

Effective prayer is not about eloquence or religious repetition—it is about the posture of the heart. Some people pray using a set of written prayers or prayer books. I was once one of them, and I can honestly say that my heart was not focused on talking to God. I was more concerned with finishing the reading, thinking that the special wording would somehow persuade God to answer my petitions.

But prayer is not like that.

The Lord Jesus gave us a serious warning about this kind of approach:

“These people draw near to Me with their mouth, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me.” (Matthew 15:8)

He also said:

“And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.” (Matthew 6:7)

God is not looking for well-constructed sentences—He is looking for hearts that are truly seeking Him. You don’t need the right script or poetic phrases. What matters is honesty, humility, and intimacy. Prayer that pleases God comes from a heart that longs to connect with Him, not from a mouth that merely recites.

 

4. Continual Communication with God

Prayer isn’t confined to specific times or places; it’s an ongoing dialogue with God. The Apostle Paul encourages believers to maintain a constant connection with the Lord:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

This continuous communication fosters a deeper relationship with God and keeps our hearts attuned to His presence.

 

5. Approaching God with Confidence and Gratitude

When we pray, we can approach God with boldness—not because of who we are, but because of who Jesus is and what He has done for us. Through Him, we have full access to the throne of grace.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

God invites us to come freely, without fear, and with thankful hearts. We do not need to come timidly or with uncertainty. The Lord Jesus has made the way for us to confidently draw near to our Heavenly Father.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

This means that no matter our situation—whether we’re struggling with sin, burdened with worry, or simply seeking guidance—we can run to God in prayer with full assurance that He hears us and desires to help us. Gratitude in our hearts reminds us that He has been faithful before and He will be faithful again.

 

6. The Power of Persistent Prayer

Jesus taught the importance of persistence in prayer through parables, emphasizing that we should not lose heart:

“Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart.” (Luke 18:1)

Persistent prayer demonstrates our faith and dependence on God, even when answers are delayed.

 

7. Praying According to God’s Will

Aligning our prayers with God’s will ensures that our desires are in harmony with His purposes:

“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” (1 John 5:14)

Seeking God’s will in our prayers reflects our trust in His wisdom and sovereignty.

 

8. Forgiveness: A Prerequisite for Effective Prayer

Harboring unforgiveness can hinder our prayers. Jesus emphasized the necessity of forgiving others:

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25)

A heart free from bitterness is essential for open communication with God.

 

9. The Role of the Holy Spirit in Prayer

The Holy Spirit aids us in our prayers, especially when we struggle to find the right words:

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us.” (Romans 8:26)

Relying on the Holy Spirit ensures that our prayers align with God’s will and purposes.

 

10. Cultivating a Lifestyle of Prayer

Prayer should be an integral part of our daily lives, not just a response to crises. Daniel serves as an example of consistent prayer:

“Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home. And in his upper room… he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days.” (Daniel 6:10)

Developing a routine of regular prayer strengthens our relationship with God and prepares us to face life’s challenges.

Conclusion

There are no rules to memorize or rituals to perform—only a heart that longs to converse with its Maker. Prayer is not a matter of religious observance but a personal, intimate connection with the God who created us and loves us deeply.

While we don’t follow steps or formulas, the Bible gives us principles to guide us, and Jesus Himself has shown us what it means to truly pray. Whether in the silence of your room or the chaos of a busy day, you can draw near to God simply by opening your heart to Him.

Let prayer become a daily part of your life—not as an obligation, but as a treasured opportunity to know God more, to lean on Him, to listen, and to speak. It is in this ongoing, sincere conversation that we grow in faith, experience His presence, and are transformed by His love.

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